Live from Suburbia, it's Saturday Morning!!!!!!

In case you have been living in a cave for a while or simply have no sense of humor, I will explain the title: After the opening sketch on Saturday Night Live, a cast-member/guest star will shout, "Live from New York it's SATURDAY NIIIIGHT!" and then everyone screams and applauds. I was hoping maybe you'd scream and applaud, but looking at my poll on the side, there doesn't seem to be too many people even reading this right now... lemme check how many: Ah, yes. Zero. Zip. Goose egg. None.
OH WELL!!!!! I CAN DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
So let me tell you what happened this morning:

• I slept in as late as possible (a.k.a. 9:25, which is relatively early for a teenager who would sleep in till three if she had the chance)
• I was woken up by my dad who asked me to put my sister's hair up for her ballet class. It's mandatory that they wear their hair up and my dad's fingers are not as nimble as mine--one time he tried to put my hair up and I was crying for the next hour--so he had me do it. RD (my little sister) decided that she would make things as hard for me as possible so I had to put her hair up while she was lying on the floor. And that little five year old has so many knots in her hair you would not believe.
• My dad realized that he has absolutely no idea where RD's ballet and tap shoes are so we go on a long search, and where it not for my chivalry in dragging myself out of bed and searching for it also, they would have gotten to class at least half-an-hour late.
• My dad thanked me, dragged RD (who was begging him to let her paint Sella's face. Sella is her favorite doll which my dad got her when he went to Amsterdam) out the door, and promised me he'd have bagels when he returned.
• I decided to reward myself for finding the shoes by eating a whole bunch of chocolate ice cream for breakfast. Of course he wasn't there to witness it so he'll just have to be guilty about not rewarding me. (Note: Have you ever found it more effective to eat ice cream with a fork? I definitely have.)
• I went online, and as my homepage is AOL, I saw that there was a celebrity trash gossip link so I went there. And lemme tell you, you would not believe some of the faces that People Magazine thinks are gorgeous. These people are kind of ugly. And People put them in the 50 most gorgeous. How dare they invade that coveted spot.
• Then I went to my blog and the rest is history.

Alright, this is supposedly a gossip blog, so what gossip is there...
Okay, I got some.
I was not present at this place, but when talking with JM he enlightened me as to how it went. He seemed pretty proud of it actually, but when he shared with me what actually happened, I didn't understand why he was so happy about the following events.

So, JM is over at his friend RC's house with JB and MP. RC is sort of popular and doesn't have the best judgement or the nicest personality, but if he reads this and is offended, he can feel free to prove me wrong. JB hates me and thinks I'm a total dork, and I am fine with both of these accusations. MP basically shares JB's ideas, and that's fine too. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion.
... Even JS, that guy who called me an ugly b**** who makes bad jokes. To which, I am still laughing about.
Ha, ha, ha.
So RC says to his posse, "Oh my God. Let's go to FR's house."
FR is a popular girl in my class who is pretty nice as far as popular girls go. However, being one of the only two popular girls in our class, most guys have a crush on her and it probably sucks since most of the guys at my school repulse me.
JM, JB, and MP are all like, "Whatever," so they go. Yaaaay. This is a fascinating story, isn't it?
So they show up at FR's house and FR is up on her porch and she shouts, "Stay away, you stalker rapists!"
Yes. That is exactly what she said.
And naturally, all the guys keep walking up the driveway, paying no heed to her demand.
"If you come one step further, I'll set my dogs on you!" FR shouts.
FR has two bulldogs, according to JM. Ugly things, true, but unless their rabid, I wouldn't say that they're the most vicious dogs in the world. You want to get rid of a guy like RC? My advice to you is to get a couple of dobermans.
"Awwww, bull dogs are so cute," RC says.
So FR shouts in through her front door, "They came!!! Help!!!"
And this guy with a bat apparently runs out the front door.
Naturally, this is a little bit more threatening than a pair of bull dogs, so RC, JM, JB, and MP start running. But in the end, the guy with the bat runs right by them and says, "See ya."
Didn't see that one coming. You can't exactly call it self defense if all they were doing was being on your driveway.
Then again, maybe you could... I'm no lawyer.
So, that is my gossip for now. Hope I entertained you.
Oh, and by the way: my dad and RD walked in the door twenty minutes ago. Ballet was canceled. However, that did not deter them from getting bagels.